my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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