No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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