margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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