i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
