I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
