Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize