i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
