a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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