just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize