Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
