did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
