wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
