My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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