I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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