She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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