Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
