I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
