She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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