____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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