people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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