My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
