I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize