he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
