I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
