when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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