marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
