i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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