Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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