I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
