I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
