So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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