whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
