my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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