Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
