she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
