I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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