He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
