I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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