Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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