I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize