is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
