He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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