Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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