Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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