i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize