My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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