OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
