i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we're making bets on your personal life
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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