drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize