I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Shame - the story of my life.
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