Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
