That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
