Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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