you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
