either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
