And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am naked and annoyed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
