It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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