just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
