sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize