stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
