oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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