I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
