I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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