Already got asked if we're dating
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize