its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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