I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I cockslap morals
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
