saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
