accomplished twins. life is a go
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
