i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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