Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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