thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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