she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
