its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
