wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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