Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
