my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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