Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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