Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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