He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
