I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
