I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
