Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
