My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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