Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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