they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
