Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
