Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
