yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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